The conscious handling of gifts

This article isn't just about what to do with unwanted/unused gifts, or the advice "you can get rid of them without feeling guilty". It's about going a little deeper.

Less stuff - morge hugs!

The moment of giving

Giving gifts is primarily about the moment . It's about the joy of receiving something or giving someone a token of appreciation – and vice versa. However, a guilty conscience often creeps in later, when you actually want to declutter. You worry about the connection with the person who gave you the gift or think: "They would definitely be angry or disappointed if I gave the gift away."

But quite often the opposite is true: the relationship isn't affected simply because you let go of an object. No one who truly cares about you wants a gift to become a burden.

Communication is key.

You can gradually integrate telling people what you want into your life. Explain them you don't like things that just end up sitting around. Perhaps you'd be much happier with something homemade or a consumable item - things that can be used up and don't take up space. This makes it easier for everyone involved. And your home won't become unnecessarily cluttered.

The fear of conflict

Of course, the alarm bells start ringing especially when relationships are very important to you. You don't want to do anything wrong or jeopardize the harmony. Try to work on this attitude. Ask yourself: Would you be disappointed or sad if someone threw out a gift from you? Would that change the relationship for you?

If so, perhaps consider why you think that way. Maybe you can change your own attitude towards gift-giving: When I personally give someone a gift, I usually do it with the intention of making them happy in that moment. What they do with it afterward is entirely up to them. If you give someone (whom you even might not know very well) a gift purely out of a sense of obligation, you should also question that.

Why does giving gifts sometimes feel bad?

The pressure of gifting usually arises when the intention (the joy of giving) is replaced by convention (the "obligation"). We confuse the gesture (the appreciation) with the object itself. When we feel obligated, we often give only "stuff" to fulfill the social duty – and that is precisely the moment when gifts become a burden for both parties.

Give consciously instead of burdening others

Over time, I've stopped giving "things" as gifts. Before I buy something, I ask myself:

• Do I really want to burden the person with something else?

• Is it something she/he has wanted for a long time?

• Would a consumable item be useful?

• Why do I want to give this person a present at this moment? Out of joy or a perceived obligation?

  
  

If I can't find a suitable answer, I'd rather not do it at all. Because, let's be honest: I believe the most beautiful gifts you can give someone are time spent together, a warm, firm hug, and trust (and an alpaca walk 😊).

Conclusion

In the moment of giving, everyone is happy to receive a thoughtful gesture. After all, someone has thought of you, you feel the appreciation and the connection to the other person. That's a wonderful feeling!

It's more about what happens afterward. We need to learn that the object doesn't have to burden us in the long run. True connection is shown by being able to openly talk to our friends and family about what truly nourishes us. This not only saves money and avoids impulse buys, but often makes our relationships even deeper and more honest. In the end, it's not the item on the shelf that matters, but the knowledge that we value one another – with or without a material gift.

🖤, Andrea